We are driving today. Will and I. Towards the highlands of Scotland, somewhere far away from our lives.
Our luggage sit on the back seat of his Ford, silent passengers, sharing their common space with us, along with the packets of crisps and bottles of water.
Its been 3 weeks since our last encounter. Since that time, when we supposedly met for one final talk. When we had decided that, going our own separate ways was indeed the best thing to do.
If only we had stopped with goodbye kisses that day.. If only i had stopped crying and if only he had let me walk away from his tight hold..
Both of us had gone back to our regular lives after that. Will’ back to his work and me’ back to my studies preparing for the exams, trying to chew out every pages of my notes. Then, after almost 18 days of torturous time of our lives, the horrendous day was over.
‘This is your favourite song, isn’t it?’ Will asks me, snapping me out of my thoughts.
‘Yeah’ i reply short, hearing an old song by Bryan Adams play in the radio. ‘Look into my eyes you will see what you mean to me..’ he sang.
I look away, outside trying to contain my flooding emotions. Its amazing how songs can actually describe what you feel..
This morning i had ran into a very big fight with Mia. Somehow she had known that i was going off with Will.
‘I know what you are doing Cam. You are lying. You saying that you are leaving for home this soon is bullshit! You knew we all were going for the road trip after the exam. Now, suddenly you are changing plans! What for?? No one is sick at home. I called to check in with your mom if she knew you were coming. But she said, you weren’t. Liar!! You told her, you’d be late because you were going in the trip with us. Didn’t you? You are not coming with us so where are you going?? ‘ she had asked.
‘Are you my mother, Mia? Who told you to go around snooping into my personal affairs? You are my friend, so stay as friend! Whatever i do, wherever i go is none of your concern!’ I had exploded at her with anger. There was a limit to how much a friend could invade privacy. And Mia was clearly crossing hers in mine..
‘Wait till Brandon knows about it!!’ she had threatened me, black mailed me on hearing that. ‘Mind your own boyfriend’s business. Not mine.’ i had snapped.
‘Sure. If you weren’t cheating on him!’. She had lost her control at this point. And was actually dialling Brandon’s number in front of my own eyes while saying that. ‘No you don’t!!’ I was tossing her on the ground in no time, trying to snatch phone from her hand. Later, exhausted, i had pulled off . ‘Do whatever you want Mia. You were right i’m going with him’. I had hissed at her. Then kicking open the door, as loud as i could with my boots, i had walked out with suitcase on my hand.
‘All for what?‘ i ask coming back to my senses again, recalling the painful event staring at my swollen eyelids in his side mirror. Mopping again the tears with fabric of my long sleeve.
‘If, dear God, love was ever a choice, i would have never chosen this for me.. not even for my most hateful of enemies..’