‘Are you bored?’ Will asks, giving me a tap on my shoulder as he sees me in Starbucks cafe. ‘Not really. I just arrived 15 minutes ago or so.. i knew you’d be late’ i lie,trying my best to hide, the vertical creases between my brows. I sip in to my 5th cup of coffee as he orders one for himself, that now starts to taste bitter like the last dose of acetaminophen i had.
‘I had to be in this urgent meeting, something to do with annual statistics and stuffs. I am sorry’ he apologizes. ‘It’s ok’ i reply, seemingly least bothered.
‘So what is our plan teddy?’he pitches in, rather guarded, noticing the stress on my tone.
‘Good’ i remark inside my head. ‘It was movie but since we are 1 hour late. Nothing for now. You can do whatever you want’. I bark.
‘Don’t be like that Carem.. I am struggling here with my Job. The market is tough. We are having issues with our new product launches and in addition,now, i also have to deal with shitty conflicts between board members and what not. You know how difficult it is..’he pleads
‘I don’t know’ i give him a blunt reply. ‘You should know how to manage your time well.You have 24 hours in a day, i asked you for 4 hours and you can’t even manage that. It’s one day in a week. Just one day’. I shoot.
‘I know.That’s why I am sorry. There is so much going in my life right now. I can’t seem to balance my personal life and working life..’
‘May be then you should throw that engagement ring off. A man like you should know, how important your career is for now’ i yap, staring at his platinum ring that engraved the name ‘Ressica’.
‘Don’t bring her in between us..please’ he begs, again.
‘Why not? You are making me!!She seems like a real catch. Why are you cheating her with me behind her back??’ i roar.
‘I am not cheating her with you. I am in love with you..It’s a different thing now’ he answers.His tone gentle as he trails off. ‘Beside you always knew what you were in with me…’ he adds.
He is right. I always knew, what i was in with him. May be that’s why i can’t confront him on saying, he was with his fiance this past hour while, i was outside his apartment, waiting for him to show up. He is darn right. I know well, where i am heading into..
I feel like i am driving in a highway.. at 100mph speed. On a black topped smooth road, under the cover of stars. Flying free like a bird, floating in the air.. with the wind hitting my face and brushing my hair.. But the thing is, my destination is not the endless horizon nor the open fields neither the vastness of the desert. It’s a wall,a big, massive wall where i am driving to crash..Hoping finally it will bring me to a stop..praying this will jolt me off, of my craziness for Will.