Will You into My Will (chapter 9)

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‘Will, i want you to show me, how and what were we doing yesterday night before i passed out’

‘What?’ Will asks surprised, stopping to look at me, while reaching out for the passenger seat door in front.

‘It is only fair that i get to experience what you experienced since i don’t remember anything’ i reply, trying to keep my best innocent front.

‘Here? On the parking lot? Are you sure?’

‘Yes’ i reply, looking back right  into his eye, so he understands how serious i am.

‘Hmm fair enough.I couldn’t even sleep yesterday night’ he smiles at me wickedly.

Once inside his black Ford, i sit on his lap, facing him front and my legs split against is thighs.  ‘Can you even move this seat back?’

‘Yeah sure. It better. I am paying big installment money for it’ he replies, adjusting his  driver seat. Now comfortable enough, i throw a nervous glance, biting my lip, placing my arms on his shoulders. ‘Where were we?..’.

‘Here’ he presses his lips against mine, with his arms tightly wrapped against my torso. His force, constricting me to suffocation, wedged between his chest and muscles. Just the way i want it, with nothing between us but a thin layer of clothes.

I do remember what my first kiss felt like. There is nothing like first kiss. The tension, the fear, the eagerness. At first it is wet. Like actually wet from saliva in your mouth. But then, you close your eyes and let go..And it is a whole different thing. It makes you one, in many undefined ways.. It is magic, with all the thing your body makes you feel. The beating of the heart, the gush of adrenaline and that mindless serene emotions of belonging..

But then, it is wrong to say nothing is better than first kiss. It is special alright but second kiss tops.

I keep jostling with his tongue now. We are playing hide and seek. He is running, i am chasing. I am running, he is chasing. At times, i get demanding. At other times, he does, till i get the control back. And sometimes, we both run off and let ourselves venture on trail of kisses across our forehead, face, chin and down to neck.

The third kiss will only get better..i know. And I can’t wait to have more. Will belongs to me.


Will You Into My Will (chapter 8)


I meet Will at the  Sherlock cafe. You wouldn’t believe how good he looks with grey hoodie and a pair of black trainers. I only hope, i am looking good enough so he doesn’t think, i was an off choice.

Thanks to Mia again,Acetaminophen did a fine trick to my head. I feel fresh now. After attempting to look myself at my private parts, a number of times with hand mirror, wall mirror and what not, i am doubtful if anything happened between us. Not that i would know, if it did. How would i know? It was my first. But the  thing is, I don’t feel sore down there. And my stuffs look  intact, like they used to be.  Internet says, i am still a virgin, if i am to fully believe it.

Then why the text early in the morning??  Those three words at 4am. Mia said, he brought me home at around 12. Didn’t he know, i was knocked off by then?

Hey, how are you doing?’ Will asks settling down relaxed next to me, after leaving a peck on my cheek.

‘Fine’ i reply, my heart fluttering, with my jaw starting to tense. ‘Why is he kissing on my cheek? He should be kissing on my lips now.’

‘Do you remember anything about yesterday?You were so drunk..’ he mocks

‘Yes about that…i don’t remember anything’ i reply nervously. ‘What did actually happen?’

‘Oh..’ I can see a sudden look of disappointment in his eyes. ‘I wish you’d remembered..’ he says.

‘what? Did i really forget the one thing i am supposed to remember?’ i start to panic. ‘Tell me please..i have to know what happened yesterday? Did you use condom?’

‘What?’ Will freezes. Then starts laughing so hard, till he is bangs his hand and rests his head on our table.

‘What are you talking about, Carem?Why am i supposed to use that? Oh..you think we had sex? did you?’ He laughs again.

‘We did. Didn’t we?’

‘I wish we did. It was so hot in there. i was so high. And i can tell you were too..’ he winks his eyes.

‘Uh..huh’ i reply embarrassed, curious and excited to hear his version of story.

‘We were steaming up alright. And then you slept on me like a little teddy bear, your arms locked around my neck and head resting on my shoulders. You were so cute..’

Oh no..not the cute word’ i curse myself in my head and manage to pull a fake goofy smile. ‘so we just kissed..?‘i ask again.

‘Not just kiss Carem, that was the hottest kiss i ever had’ he flashes a very fulfilling smile at me. And you couldn’t imagine the height of excitement i felt at that moment. I knew exactly how an over-inflated balloon felt like, floating so high in the air..knowing, it could reach the soft white clouds,  any time soon. Nothing was beyond my grasp. Dreams do come true.

Will You into My Will (chapter 7)

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After coming to a conclusion that i need to see him in person about yesterday’s events, i text Will. ‘Need to see you ASAP. Meet me at Sherlock Cafe in 2 hours.’

This was important. If he didn’t use the protection, i was bound to be doomed. Of  course babies from him is/are always welcome. But, i was not ready now. Someday in future ‘Yes’. But not now.

‘My uterus isn’t even tough enough to carry baby. Look at my boobs’ they are still tiny’ i explain to myself, trying to talk myself out of situation, in case i had a change of my mind later.  It’s going to be Will’s baby,  so i never knew, what i would decide next.

I rush in to the bathroom, to get ready. On my way, i see a breakfast with a note sticking on the glass. ‘Have your breakfast and think again with a full stomach. Hungry stomach makes bad decisions!!’ It read. ‘Right. Thanks Mia‘ my eyes, tears up with emotions. My best friend did care.

There are so many things i wanted to share with Mia. She is the only person, a living soul, i could trust. But i wouldn’t tell her. Her presumptions about Will, with my stories of him, would only add more to her hatred for him.  Sometimes, i couldn’t even last a week without crying.  And this Mia loathed to see. ‘For God sake, be with someone who treats you right!’

‘But Will is treating me right’ i defended him,with every chance i got from Mia, now and then. And it was true. He is treating me right like he would treat every other girl. It’s me, who is just too  hormonal,too needy for him. I cry for no reasons, when i  feel he is not paying enough attention to me. I am too weak.

I dig in my scrambled eggs and toasted bread, wiping away my tears every now and then at the thought of, what did i get myself into. Taking a sip of lemonade juice that also came with a sticky note reading ‘For Hangover. Drink all!‘ i make my way into the bathroom.

I don’t know if i am happy that i made out finally with Will or i am sad that i don’t remember anything at all or i am too insecure thinking, Will got what he wanted and i wouldn’t interest him anymore, i feel too lost. This wasn’t how i pictured my fairy tale would be like. Never in life..

Will You into My Will (chapter 6)


Carem’ ‘Carem‘ a high pitched familiar call, wakes me up from my sleep. I look around astonished, finding myself back at my own shared apartment, with Mia standing next to me. ‘Oh No…’  a long howl escapes my throat. This was not how it was supposed to be like. I was to wake up in Will’s bed, in his apartment, next to him. And Will was to bring me a morning breakfast in my bed. It was supposed to be perfect. Where did i mess up?

My head gives me a fuzzy spin and my stomach does a painful flip, while i try to re-contruct yesterday’s events. Nothing. I remember nothing. I curse myself. Best day of my life and  i f**** ruined it!

‘Aren’t you going to class?’ Mia asks, throwing my bag on the bed, still looking grumpy. oh cut me a slack here..  ‘No..i am tired‘ i reply, not looking at her.

Well with all the attendance you are missing, you will run into big trouble soon Carem. The only reason Mrs Matthews is not complaining against you is your grades’ she grits her teeth.

‘I  know. I know. Just for today Mia. I want to rest. And i also need to have a talk with Will. It’s important. So excuse me, will you?’.

‘You didn’t do it, did you?’ Mia widens her eyes in panic, suddenly  hearing my response.

‘I don’t think so..’

‘You don’t think so? How could you not know?’ She rolls her eyes. ‘Oh how she loves rolling her eyes on me. Especially when it is about Will.’

‘I was drunk and i passed out ok. 17% is not what i can handle’.  I try to sound as casual as possible.

‘Why drink it in first place then?’ she exclaims, exasperated. ‘ I know Carem, he is good looking, good person and all sort of that person to attract you but this is not right. You are throwing yourself at him. You think this is love but at our age what do we even know about love? It could just be an attraction. A fatal attraction in your case’ 

‘It could be Mia. Or it could just be love. Nothing happened ok..So stop panicking’ i defend myself.

‘Well just in case, check your panties and lady parts. And take an emergency pill! I can’t believe i am saying you this!!’ Mia gives me a disgusted look, like i have lowered my standards being with Will. She fumes out off the room, stomping the floor and banging the door behind her.

‘Not the door again!!!’ i shout.

After Mia leaves, i pace around the room, thinking of  my next best option. I could go and take an emergency pill right now, the GP is not that far or i could just call Will and ask him if we did it.

‘Oh God why can’t Mia support us for once..at least’ i find myself pleading to higher entity, to help me bring my best friend around. Mia had to understand i am panicking as well.  I don’t know the next thing i am doing. I don’t think anything i am doing is wrong at all..

Will You into My Will. (Chapter 5)

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‘Carem do you know, you are really drunk right now?’ Will says, buckling my seat belt, next to him.

‘I am not’ i protest, while my slurring speech says otherwise. I try to open my restraint while he buckles his own seat belt, preparing to drive. Finally, giving up to my inability of co-ordination after trying a number of times, i slouch.

I don’t want to go home today’ i whine.

‘Is it? Where do you want to go then?’ Will asks, pretending to throw a curious look, knowing my obvious answer.

‘To bed, that is not mine. And i want to stay awake all night.’ I answer, unsure if my obvious reply would offend him. And worried, as to why  he hasn’t  taken a step to me after all the obvious clues of my intentions i had left for him.

Well if you are going to bed other than yours, then that would only be mine’ His voice resonates playfully, still carefree.

‘Think again..‘ i answer to provoke him, this time, steering away my eyes from him, to the window.

It would only be mine..wouldn’t it?’ He sounds dead serious. His cold stare sends a shiver down my neck. My heart suddenly skips a beat of anticipation of his next move.

Taunting him, feels like throwing myself into a lion’s den at these moments. The pressure it builds, the nervousness it surges in me, i am addicted to it. Just like i am addicted to him. And  I can tell, i am playing my baits right here.

Click. I hear him unbuckle his seat belt. ‘Carem‘  he calls.

‘Yes’ i turn my head to him, as if i am least interested on hearing what he has to say.

What is wrong with you today?It’s our first official date and you look so lost..’

Nothing’ i reply bluntly. Such a fool, he doesn’t even understand a thing about woman..

Well don’t say nothing’ he answers frustrated.

Then in a ziff, he frees me from my restraints and pulls my body  next to him. Seconds later, i am sitting on top of him on the driver’s seat with my fingers running across his hair and my lips hungrily claiming his.. I am an animal set lose now. For Will to tame me to be his. Waiting to become his.

My body gives away slowely to his advancing touches. His hands  runs across my hips, my back and my bare neck. My skin lusts and explodes into thousands of firecrackers under the surface.

This is our first kiss. I am drunk today. So drunk in love.. And it is my darkest desire to ‘Will him into my Will’.

Will You into My Will (chapter 4)


How did the time fly by, i don’t know. Will is such a charmer when he starts to talk. Or am i just too hypnotised by him that i don’t notice his flaws at all. But then, this is good isn’t it? So mad in love that you don’t see anything, hear nothing beside him. Perhaps, this is how  Juliet felt for Romeo. So much in love that there was no time to be scared of it, to think of consequences…  I am not sacred either. Whether storm or rain, through thick or thin, i will stick by Will, no matter what happens.. The only thing that worries me, is losing him. And i wish, i never do. 

By the time i was done with  my ‘Poulet Au Vinaigre,’ whatever that fancy thing was, i could see no remains of my food in the plate.

‘Don’t shove everything inside your mouth’ i remind myself, thankful that he didn’t notice my ill table manners. Then, graciously  reaching out for the glass of Baileys that Will had just poured in for me, i raise it in the air to make a toast. ‘Creme Caramel, 17% alcohol content’ i recall  Mia mention about it. ‘This better be good‘ i prayed.

‘And yes it was’. I didn’t know, whiskey could actually taste so good. I was fluttering by my own self, at my first discovery . Wondering how cool i must be looking now, and how cool would i look, holding this glass of this sweet thing among my friends.. This was a big thing!

Are you listening to me, Carem?‘ Will asks , concerned.

‘Yes Mr Patterson has pancreatic cancer’ i answer immediate, assuring him, he has my full attention. ‘Yes, do you know its a terminal cancer?’ he says furrowing his brows.

‘I thought all cancers were terminal… ‘. My voice starts making a slurring sound.

‘Not all my dear. You are so cute’. Will holds my hand and squeezes it a little, smiling.

Was it the baileys that was getting me boozy or that last dessert of chocolate truffles, that helped it hit a punch, i freeze there and blush at his touch.

‘May be you should take me home before i trip in here’ i murmur. Suddenly my shame knowing no bound in me.

I know what i am exactly getting into here in my full conscience and what i want from him exactly at this moment of time. Alcohol is only helping me. I wasn’t the type to beat around the bushes and i wasn’t going to let him miss my hint either.. If any day i was to regret this, i knew i could always blame it to alcohol. I am a smart bitch, you can guess.

‘Yeah i should…before you sleep on me’ he says, stretching his arms around me and helping me stand. My legs feel funny. I laugh and i laugh and i swear, i  have never felt so funny on my entire life before.

Will You into My Will. Chapter 3.

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‘You know this is not right‘ Mia lashes in, when i take one  quick  glance on his instagram page before i settle in for  lunch. ‘Not the same thing again Mia’ i hush her away, scrolling down the page for any new updates, sticking a bun in my mouth.

‘Well don’t tell me later, i didn’t tell you so. First the man is clearly using you. Second, you got to honest about your age. You are way younger for him’

‘Shhh‘ i throw a warning look at Mia ‘Don’t mention him on public’.

‘Like as if everyone knows about him’ she replies rolling her eyes. ‘They should actually, this is crime. Him manipulating you..’

‘Whatever ok Mia‘ i roll back my eyes at her. ‘He doesn’t even know’

‘Tell him then’.

‘No way. He will never forgive me. He hates lies. And i have tons of those..Only you think it’s disgusting, every girl has a fantasy of dating hot Math/Science or a Gym Teacher..’ i protest in my defense.


‘You look beautiful Carem’ Will compliments me, pulling over a seat for me, that evening in our dinner date.  ‘And you look as good as always‘ i smile back, my comment, every word of it filled with nothing but entire honesty, right away from my heart. ‘When will you realize that will?’

‘Thank you for being such a  gentleman. You truly know how to keep a lady’.

‘Only for those i aim to keep‘ Will replies, winking his eyes. Oh’ he is so gorgeous!!

I have never been into a fancy restaurant like this before. In fact i have never been in a date. Will is my first and i am glad he is. I would have nothing else to wish for even if Genie was to appear right away and  commanded me to ask for wishes. However, at the moment, i could use someone to  help me with my level of confidence. I am starting to doubt my knife and fork skills. My palms feel sweaty and these few strands of hair that never bothered in my life before, like ever, are starting to give me an itchy sensation.

I wish i could tell Mia how i am feeling right now.  And explain to her…how important Will is for me. But she judges books by cover. She will only see Will as a wolf, and nothing else. It’s a shame. I am alone, going through my most struggling phase, when i really could use her help.

I go through my head, what i read about ‘first dates’ in the internet this morning. And what i remember makes me more nervous. ‘Will Will kiss me tonight? Or will he want more? Are we going to do it? Will it hurt?’

I panic. And probably because he notices it, he gives a warm touch over my fingers and asks ‘Are you alright?’

Yes. Of course‘ I reply, brought back to my senses with his radiant smile. I went and shopped for the sexiest inners i could find for tonight, i might be realizing it just now but for this moment, i have always been  ready.