Will You into My Will. (Chapter 5)

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‘Carem do you know, you are really drunk right now?’ Will says, buckling my seat belt, next to him.

‘I am not’ i protest, while my slurring speech says otherwise. I try to open my restraint while he buckles his own seat belt, preparing to drive. Finally, giving up to my inability of co-ordination after trying a number of times, i slouch.

I don’t want to go home today’ i whine.

‘Is it? Where do you want to go then?’ Will asks, pretending to throw a curious look, knowing my obvious answer.

‘To bed, that is not mine. And i want to stay awake all night.’ I answer, unsure if my obvious reply would offend him. And worried, as to why  he hasn’t  taken a step to me after all the obvious clues of my intentions i had left for him.

Well if you are going to bed other than yours, then that would only be mine’ His voice resonates playfully, still carefree.

‘Think again..‘ i answer to provoke him, this time, steering away my eyes from him, to the window.

It would only be mine..wouldn’t it?’ He sounds dead serious. His cold stare sends a shiver down my neck. My heart suddenly skips a beat of anticipation of his next move.

Taunting him, feels like throwing myself into a lion’s den at these moments. The pressure it builds, the nervousness it surges in me, i am addicted to it. Just like i am addicted to him. And  I can tell, i am playing my baits right here.

Click. I hear him unbuckle his seat belt. ‘Carem‘  he calls.

‘Yes’ i turn my head to him, as if i am least interested on hearing what he has to say.

What is wrong with you today?It’s our first official date and you look so lost..’

Nothing’ i reply bluntly. Such a fool, he doesn’t even understand a thing about woman..

Well don’t say nothing’ he answers frustrated.

Then in a ziff, he frees me from my restraints and pulls my body  next to him. Seconds later, i am sitting on top of him on the driver’s seat with my fingers running across his hair and my lips hungrily claiming his.. I am an animal set lose now. For Will to tame me to be his. Waiting to become his.

My body gives away slowely to his advancing touches. His hands  runs across my hips, my back and my bare neck. My skin lusts and explodes into thousands of firecrackers under the surface.

This is our first kiss. I am drunk today. So drunk in love.. And it is my darkest desire to ‘Will him into my Will’.

Will You into My Will (chapter 4)

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How did the time fly by, i don’t know. Will is such a charmer when he starts to talk. Or am i just too hypnotised by him that i don’t notice his flaws at all. But then, this is good isn’t it? So mad in love that you don’t see anything, hear nothing beside him. Perhaps, this is how  Juliet felt for Romeo. So much in love that there was no time to be scared of it, to think of consequences…  I am not sacred either. Whether storm or rain, through thick or thin, i will stick by Will, no matter what happens.. The only thing that worries me, is losing him. And i wish, i never do. 

By the time i was done with  my ‘Poulet Au Vinaigre,’ whatever that fancy thing was, i could see no remains of my food in the plate.

‘Don’t shove everything inside your mouth’ i remind myself, thankful that he didn’t notice my ill table manners. Then, graciously  reaching out for the glass of Baileys that Will had just poured in for me, i raise it in the air to make a toast. ‘Creme Caramel, 17% alcohol content’ i recall  Mia mention about it. ‘This better be good‘ i prayed.

‘And yes it was’. I didn’t know, whiskey could actually taste so good. I was fluttering by my own self, at my first discovery . Wondering how cool i must be looking now, and how cool would i look, holding this glass of this sweet thing among my friends.. This was a big thing!

Are you listening to me, Carem?‘ Will asks , concerned.

‘Yes Mr Patterson has pancreatic cancer’ i answer immediate, assuring him, he has my full attention. ‘Yes, do you know its a terminal cancer?’ he says furrowing his brows.

‘I thought all cancers were terminal… ‘. My voice starts making a slurring sound.

‘Not all my dear. You are so cute’. Will holds my hand and squeezes it a little, smiling.

Was it the baileys that was getting me boozy or that last dessert of chocolate truffles, that helped it hit a punch, i freeze there and blush at his touch.

‘May be you should take me home before i trip in here’ i murmur. Suddenly my shame knowing no bound in me.

I know what i am exactly getting into here in my full conscience and what i want from him exactly at this moment of time. Alcohol is only helping me. I wasn’t the type to beat around the bushes and i wasn’t going to let him miss my hint either.. If any day i was to regret this, i knew i could always blame it to alcohol. I am a smart bitch, you can guess.

‘Yeah i should…before you sleep on me’ he says, stretching his arms around me and helping me stand. My legs feel funny. I laugh and i laugh and i swear, i  have never felt so funny on my entire life before.

Will You into My Will. Chapter 3.

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‘You know this is not right‘ Mia lashes in, when i take one  quick  glance on his instagram page before i settle in for  lunch. ‘Not the same thing again Mia’ i hush her away, scrolling down the page for any new updates, sticking a bun in my mouth.

‘Well don’t tell me later, i didn’t tell you so. First the man is clearly using you. Second, you got to honest about your age. You are way younger for him’

‘Shhh‘ i throw a warning look at Mia ‘Don’t mention him on public’.

‘Like as if everyone knows about him’ she replies rolling her eyes. ‘They should actually, this is crime. Him manipulating you..’

‘Whatever ok Mia‘ i roll back my eyes at her. ‘He doesn’t even know’

‘Tell him then’.

‘No way. He will never forgive me. He hates lies. And i have tons of those..Only you think it’s disgusting, every girl has a fantasy of dating hot Math/Science or a Gym Teacher..’ i protest in my defense.

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‘You look beautiful Carem’ Will compliments me, pulling over a seat for me, that evening in our dinner date.  ‘And you look as good as always‘ i smile back, my comment, every word of it filled with nothing but entire honesty, right away from my heart. ‘When will you realize that will?’

‘Thank you for being such a  gentleman. You truly know how to keep a lady’.

‘Only for those i aim to keep‘ Will replies, winking his eyes. Oh’ he is so gorgeous!!

I have never been into a fancy restaurant like this before. In fact i have never been in a date. Will is my first and i am glad he is. I would have nothing else to wish for even if Genie was to appear right away and  commanded me to ask for wishes. However, at the moment, i could use someone to  help me with my level of confidence. I am starting to doubt my knife and fork skills. My palms feel sweaty and these few strands of hair that never bothered in my life before, like ever, are starting to give me an itchy sensation.

I wish i could tell Mia how i am feeling right now.  And explain to her…how important Will is for me. But she judges books by cover. She will only see Will as a wolf, and nothing else. It’s a shame. I am alone, going through my most struggling phase, when i really could use her help.

I go through my head, what i read about ‘first dates’ in the internet this morning. And what i remember makes me more nervous. ‘Will Will kiss me tonight? Or will he want more? Are we going to do it? Will it hurt?’

I panic. And probably because he notices it, he gives a warm touch over my fingers and asks ‘Are you alright?’

Yes. Of course‘ I reply, brought back to my senses with his radiant smile. I went and shopped for the sexiest inners i could find for tonight, i might be realizing it just now but for this moment, i have always been  ready.

Will You Into My Will (Chapter 2)

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I watch out from the window, too bored to pay any attention to what Mrs Matthew has been talking about for so long. Why would i? It’s not even helping me..Who needs geometry? The triangles and all those theorems? Not me anyways. I want to be a doctor, if, hopefully all my plan works out straight. So, I will just have to mug it up before exams, i guess.

What i need to know, really right now is ‘what my future will be like?And will ‘Will’ be a part of it’. What would really help me is, someone coming up with a magical recipe that will make me age by a year in one day..

The sky gets more clearer by the day passes, as i count the ticking of seconds on my watch unlike my head, that gets more foggier with every next shift on it’s lazy arm.

‘A sunny  day like this, we should be lying next to each other sunbathing in the park’  i text  him, a short and sweet message, after minutes and minutes of brain storming. I remind myself to sound more casual, just enough to say, i miss him but i am not needy. Mrs Matthews throws a quick scan to the class with her hawk eyes and i dodge one more time under the blanket of my books.

My cell phone beeps instant with incoming alert message. A message!! My eyes gleams with excitement. Will always has that effect on me..even with something as trivial as his one word reply text. I don’t know how he does what he does to me. I can never explain.

‘A sunny day like this, we should be lying over each other sunbathing by the empty pool. If you know what i mean’. It read.

‘Yes i know!!’ i jump with excitement inside my head drooling over the imagination. Fantasies of  his body pressed over mine, our lips stuck together in the scorching summer heat..

Will You Into My Will. Chapter 1.Page1.

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You can say to me this is craziness or just that phase of my life where my hormones are overwhelming me..that i am not mature enough for making right decisions or that i am being brainwashed like a mindless freak by ‘Will’.  But, I don’t care. I simply don’t.

Because, everyone knows  when it comes to Will.. I am blind, i am deaf, i am dumb and i am ferocious! He belongs to me. Only me.. So, be smart and stay away while i hiss and rattle…unless you want me to bite!!’

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Oh God’ Help me..‘ i say to myself, reading that crazy piece of scribblings i had just jotted yesterday before bed. Lazily and still tired of my sleepless night, I reach out for my cellphone and take the first glimpse of ‘my addiction’ of many for the day.

Look at him. He is Will. The man, i am desperately in love with. Obsessed with. And want to be with. But my story is no fairy tale, he is no prince. He is the evil wizard and i am the dumb puppet dancing for him. Someone knock some sense into me please…

A long sigh escapes me as his chiseled  face looks back from my screen, admiringly with a smile.  ‘How can someone who looks so beautiful have a heart so tainted and a presence so smothering?’

‘Hey morning Baby. I love you’ i leave a message, before i wake up to freshen up. I know he’d still be asleep now. It’s 6am in the morning. His alarm is set for 7am always’. He is precise with time. How precise? Sometimes it depresses me..

Brush, brush, comb, comb and iron, iron.This is my daily routine.

‘Perhaps he is right to treat me like a zombie.. i have nothing in my life but all that i am supposed to be doing. ‘

Never mind‘ i tell myself,  neatly pressing the metal equipment against the collar of my high school shirt. ‘Why am i even doing this? I know and everyone knows Will is just using me. He is not lying about it either….So why am i behaving like this? Why do i love him?’

‘Hey Honey. Good Morning! Why the long face face for?‘ My dad questions the first thing he sees me, once i slide into back seat of his car. ‘Good Morning Dad.You know, how  I just hate School’ I reply casually, clipping in neatly my school id, on my front pocket of blazer.

Yeah, here is my story.

I am 17year old, high school girl. In a relationship with a man almost twice my age. Who has no idea, i am still 17.