Will You Into My Will (Chapter 69)

pinteresttt
Pinterest

There is that sound again, in a tempo, almost like a  clock work, beating against his chest. Lub Dub. Lub Dub. Lub Dub. Its compelling. Like a shamanic music resonating against my ears to my mind, calming me down.

And there is that touch again, filled with need to  possess me, own me in a compassion that blinds my cautious soul. Sensitive, my skin traces his hands to the pulp of his pressure points, his fingers digging in my flesh against his palms, as he burrows himself in me  and moans.

‘Carem, Carem’. Rose wakes me up, slapping her chubby hands on my face. ‘Momma. Momma’.  She points curling her stubby fingers and pointing towards the door. I rub my eyes, sitting up. ‘What was i doing, having wet dreams on board day light, on a kitchen garden next to 1yr old kid?.  I am utterly ashamed.

These are the times, I am really angry.  Him entering my mind without control.  At myself for allowing it  to happen and on him, for screwing my life up.

‘She is a little gangster’. Aunt Marish chuckles, handing me a glass of juice and  picking up Rose on her arms. ‘Yeah she is. She probably would have left me with panda eyes if i hadn’t woke up’.

‘Bad girl. Why did you hit Auntie? ‘. She asks, pointing her forefinger on her little daughter, appearing stern. ‘Ah hah’ Rose squeals in pure pleasure, hiding her face away from us, overjoyed at being centre of attention.

Someone coughs. Across the fence. Again. And again distressingly, with more bouts of poor effort  in a row. I stand up to look over.

‘Ah poor Ross’ Aunt Marish sighs. ‘Why don’t you go over and say hello Carem. He will be very glad to see you’.

I stare over pityingly to  the man. In his 60’s,  slumped on a wooden chair, with a thin rubber tube running across his nostrils connected to a small portable oxygen cylinder, Ross’ did not look at all like a man i used to know. He was tall, not athletic built as such but quite a fit man. Always vibrant, full of energy and life. But now, it looked to me as though, life has been sucked out of him and all that has been left behind, is an empty case of emaciating muscles, shallow eyes and hollow bones.

‘Hello Ross’ I prod him gently on his shoulder.

‘What?’ Ross flinches scared , suddenly awake from his sleep. His expression horrified seeing a stranger stand upfront on his house.

‘Its Carem. Marish’s cousin’. I reply, trying to calm him down. ‘Carem. Remember me?’

‘Oh. Oh Carem’. He narrows his brows, looking intently at me, his hand pulled across his face, fingers drawn together on his lips, trying to think. His eyelids twitching now and then, still sedated with lorazepam, a file of which is thrown aside.

His eyes lightens up, when he remembers. ‘Oh Carem’. He exclaims with a  delightful smile.

‘Look at you. You are a woman now.. How long has it been?’

‘3 years’. I reply.

‘That long huh?’.  He makes a sad expression. ‘Ever since i have been like this, i cannot travel you see.  How are your parents?’

Good’.

I raise my voice to a   louder tone,  almost like shouting in  single word answers. He adjusts his hearing aid and nods.

‘Do you still have the budgie at home?’ I ask.

‘Yes.’

‘Aunt Marish says to me, you are allergic to budgies. So its not good for your health’. 

‘We tested it. It does not have any disease’ He answers calmly. ‘Tell Marish not to worry’. 

Of course the budgie does not have any disease. You have the disease because you are allergic to it’. I try to explain.

Ross has Hypersensitivity Pneumonitis. My aunt is a nurse at the district hospital, where these past three months alone he had been admitted twice, with severe worsening of his condition. This was because he was allergic to birds feathers or droppings. They had done some test on him, with avian para proteins that was positive. It has been four years years since the diagnosis now and in that time, Mrs Jones and Ross has had 3 sessions of one hour counselling with three different consultants. But the damn Budgie still prevails!!

‘Its either your husband or the your budgie. Thats what the consultant told her’. Aunt Marish confided to me that morning frowning. ‘She really doesn’t care about Ross’. 

I saw a moment of sadness cloud in his eyes. ‘It talks you see’. 

‘And it calls everyone by name. Its actually very smart. But it calls me stupid’. 

Doctors  think Ross doesn’t understand what is going on. Same does aunt Marish. They don’t think he knows, how dangerous it is to be in this house, with a bird in a vicinity and to be in the same bed with a wife who is constantly exposed to it. But i think, Ross exactly knows the situation. He knows this will cost him his life.

‘Are you okay? ‘ Aunt Marish squeezes my hand when she sees me playing with the remote, switching on channels to channels constantly.

‘Oh i’m sorry’. I apologise. ‘Its just that i can’t help thinking about Ross. He is really very unwell. Is there nothing anyone can do to help?’

‘I know hon. It is  frustrating to know all this. And we have raised safe guarding concerns. But thats the best we can do for now.’

‘Then why is nothing happening?’

‘It takes time. ‘ Aunt Marish tries to calm me down. ‘Beside Ross not doing anything about it, not understanding the main problem isn’t helping’.

‘But he is not on his right mind Aunt Marish. He knows Mrs Jones would rather choose the budgie over him, but he is on denial. He needs mental health team, psychiatrists whatever anyone who can help him to see him’

‘Carem. Carem. Look at me dear.’ ‘Take a long breath.’ ‘Yes. Take a long breath’. 

I inhale. Then exhale a long breath of air, deflating all that i could from my chest in one go.

‘Its his choice’. Aunt Marish continues.  ‘Its his life. Whether he is prepared to be smart or fool about it, in the end we cannot control his decisions’.  

‘Yes he could be on denial. Many times, people are comfortable avoiding truth. Especially in relations like this, where a partner is emotionally abusive. Manipulative. They cannot see their way out. Everything that happens. They are willing to face. What may seem like a obvious easy way out for us, may not be for them. We are not in that box. He needs to come out of it. It will be a struggle. And if he can’t make it….’

‘lets just hope the budgie doesn’t live a year more. That shit is fucking 9 years old!’. 

I gape my mouth open.

Its not often i hear Aunt Marish swear. Especially in front of her 1 and half year old daughter, who is just learning to pick up the words.

‘You did not hear what i said’. She plugs both ears of her daughter and looks at me, smiling halfheartedly.

 

Is it that love is blind? Or is it our ignorance for truth that is blind? What makes us love anyone more than us and what makes us hate them to their death grave? Why do not people have a fair share of what they deserve? Why is the balance so unjustly tilted? Is it really love that is blind or our ignorance? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Will You Into My Will. (Chapter 64)

Rose Love Red Romantic Hands Passion Flower Gift Wallpaper Flowers
Renature

I wish it never ends. But good things come to an end sooner or later. Why does it have to be like this?

Could’t we have met at some other place at some other time in a different setup? We could have been farmers, living at the foot ends of green hills, miles and miles away from here and i would have been happy. I know i would.  I could have washed for him, cooked and cleaned and when he came back at dawn, exhausted after ploughing the field like a good wife would, i would have sat by  him, pressed his shoulders and eased his aching joints. I would have bore him 5-6 children, all beautiful well and healthy, running around the house like cats and dogs  and mice, boiling our temples, disturbing our peace. But, nothing would have mattered because we’d still have been despite all our limitations, a big happy family.

‘Snap out of it Carem!’ The witch hisses inside my bony vault.

Are you even aware of what you are thinking? Farmers?? You can’t even grow a plant in a pot. And that is, even if you were given a healthiest breed of plant, fertiliser along with it and a instruction written on paper of how to specifically take care of it.’

‘And, what about studies? I suppose you thought Will would take care of you all your life and you would never have to work? What if he gets another wife and you have to feed your half a team of football players all by yourself? Are you prepared to do the dishes?’

I  lie on my bed disturbed, all alone, thrown off by my own voice inside my head.

Sometimes i think, there is another person residing in me, trying to take over.. to take control of my actions.  As if i am divided. I am two different people in one body. And every thought i have about Will,  she is against it. She glares me with a warning, shames me with guilt and questions me on my sanity.

 

It has been a week now since we came back. As usual i haven’t heard anything from my so called lover. His existence has once again faded away.  He is a ghost again, with no one to miss him except me.

I thought things would change, i was sure they would, i genuinely hoped so but they haven’t.  Once again, my reality seems obscure.. What happened and what did not, i do not know.

I toss in my bed, throwing the blankets on the floor, closing  my eyes shut. But sleep does not come easy. How many times have i done that? How many times have i told myself that this would change? How many times..

I  see him. Beautiful and bare. I can feel him, his hand on my skin caressing my back, his fingers tips  on my hair and his lips on mine.

Its unbearable.  The distance between us. The words we don’t speak. The time, we don’t spend together. Its shattering. The painful realisation.  The commas on our stories, the infinity chains of our full stops that doesn’t end in one. The uncertainty of our ending, is killing me slowly.

 

 

Don’t be like this Carem!’ Mia barges in, kicking open my door. ‘Enough is enough! How long are you going to stay in sulking?’

‘Go away...’ I cry, hiding my face. ‘I don’t want to do anything’.

Come on! You’ve got to wake up. Its been a week since you have not stepped a foot out. You promised me yesterday you would go bowling with us. And Brandon will be there.’

No. And don’t kick the door.’

‘I thought you locked it again. Sorry. Carem please. You know you owe an apology to Brandon, you vanished without saying anything and you promised  you’d call him when you get back but you didn’t too. And now if you don’t show up he will think its because he did something. He is already tensed about the situation.’

‘Mia? Do you hate me?’ I make a quick flip from my bed, sitting upright and pressing the question, ignoring Brandon talk.

Mia looks confusingly at me. I stare at her right between her eyes. I needed to hear an answer.

No’ she says, knowing there was no get away without  a reply. ‘I know you can be a bitch and a cheat but you are still my best friend. And look at you, you are miserable’

I laugh, flooding the tears down my eyes. Even a stranger would have agreed to her remark. ‘I am miserable. Amn’t i?’ She nods her head.

‘I am sorry Mia, I said you things i shouldn’t have. I’m sorry about Brandon and I am sorry about your phone too’. 

‘Yeah. About that, it seems like they can’t repair it. And I will be better off with new one.’   Mia shows me off her i-phone with smashed screen on the front. ‘ You really took all your anger on it. Didn’t you? Anyways for now it still works fine’. She re-assures me.

‘ I am sorry about your hair too.‘ She apologises.

‘Ah well. Just a patch of baldness on my back. That’s all.’ I laugh, forgiving her instantly.

 

When we reached  the sports centre our guys were already there. ‘Hello ladies!’ Brandon greets us with a wave from far. When we reach closer, he tosses the ball on the floor and comes running to me stretching his arms. Then he hauls himself over, squeezing me on his chest. ‘Cam i missed you!!’ He squeals.

‘Hey Romeo give her some space to breathe at least ‘. I hear James behind him.

‘Yeah can’t breathe..’ I squeak underneath. My cheek placed flat on his chest and face covered with his jacket. Hearing that, Brandon releases me immediately. We all laugh.

‘Didn’t think she was gonna die. Did you?’ James jokes, putting his arm around Mia. ‘You’ve gotta be gentle with ladies’. His usual odd remark.

 

Well, I guess some things are unchanged better. You have a place of comfort that way.  To relax. To heal. To think over your own changing  process to adapt, so when the time comes you are ready.  Inside and out.  

 

 

Will You Into My Will (Chapter 60)

rudybb deviantart.png
rudy bb.deviantart

 

‘Hey’ Matt was the first one to break the silence, extending his hand forward to greet Will’s. However, his hand remains still in the air for a long while, midway between them, before Will reaches it to meet with a firm handshake.

‘Hey’ he says as if he saw Matt just now and as if that minute long uncomfortable pause he took to respond him did not occur at all. ‘Thank you for bringing back her home safe’, he adds, clutching further tight Matt’s Hands and pointing his eyes shrewdly on me.

‘No problem’.  Matts face looks both anxious and confused. Facing me, unaware of the complexity of situation between us, he throws me a questioning glance.

I pull over ‘my blank face’.  I wish i knew. Even i didn’t feel like i know anything much about the person i was sharing my roof with.

The eeriness begins to settle back again, with Will still sitting tight lipped between us. Seeing no escape out of this discomfort zone, i decide to sprint in. ‘Matt Thank you so much for everything again. I think we should call it a night’. 

Matt smiles. He definitely got my message through. But strangely, seemingly oblivious to my request, he decides to hangout further . ‘That’s ok. You guys leaving us tomorrow then?’ he asks.

I look  at him baffled. However, Matt completely ignores my inquiring gaze. It didn’t occur to me before this that Matt could be rude too.  But again, what do i know.. I don’t even know Will.

Then,  changing his stance  to side ways so that he is facing Will, up front directly and i’m completely off his view, Matt quizzes again.  ‘Its tomorrow right?’.

I panic alternating my gaze between two men, who were both way above my eye level. The irony is, only thing i could see from this  height was their flaring nostrils, puffing air out forcefully.

‘Why is Matt saying that? He doesn’t even know’.

I curse me, for venting out my secret to him.  To some guy i had just met, who was taking advantage of my situation now.

Will looks at me, his eyes neutral without any expression, with no glint of curiosity nor anger on them.

‘What tomorrow Matt?’ I stammer, avoiding him; praying desperately Matt doesn’t decide to further prolong this chitchat.

He doesn’t. Tracing my forearm all the way to my fingers that were now curving over Will’s waist, he throws us a weak smile.

‘I must have been confused. We talked about a lot of things today’.

‘You must have’. I reply, rather impudently, desperate to end the conversation.

‘Ok Goodnight folks. Carem, you take care.’

‘We will Matt. Thanks’.

I turn around quick, dragging Will with me as i walk.

………………..

 

As soon as our the front door is closed, i push Will away from my arms. ‘Goodnight’ i snap and walk ahead to my room.

‘No you don’t!’ he stops me, holding the knob of my door, pulling it shut. ‘Why were you with him?’ 

‘Nothing you should be concerned about!’. I force open the door anyways, despite him leaning against it and slam it close in front of his face, making sure it was loud enough to shake the pillars; hoping it would pop open his ear drums. That way, i wouldn’t have to tiptoe around the house tomorrow while i walk out.

Then, i latch the door quickly in case he decides to barge in. ‘Stay Out. Don’t Disturb!’. 

‘You wish!’ He mumbles. His voice clearly audible  through the thick ply wood.

‘Whatever.’

……………………..

I was changing my clothes when suddenly a loud knock on my door startles me out of my breath. ‘Fuck off!!’ i scream, still holding my hand to my chest. ‘There is a limit till which a girl can tolerate a man, doesn’t he know?’   

Nope.

He knocks again. More louder, using his fists. Again and again.  Even Matt and his drunk friends next door must be awake now.

What?? Can’t you see, it’s 4 in the morning?‘ I lash at him, jolting open the door. My temper, running all the way down to my toe beds from my scalp skin at the vertex of my skull.

Who cares? I want to sleep’ Will hisses, shoving me against the wall with his pillow and heading straight to bed.

‘You have your room. I left you a good one!’ 

‘No sheets.’ He tosses my blankets and slips in.

There are 3 extra sheets!’ I bark. ‘On the cupboard. Did you check there?’

‘All dirty’. He replies.

‘They were clean yesterday!!’

‘Not today.’

I walk, stomping my feet out of the room to the main room and to the cupboard. 3 sheets. All stained with coffee.

…………………………………….

‘Get out! That’s my bed’. I growl, standing by the bed side, glaring at him, knowing he is doing everything on purpose.

‘No sheets’ he replies again, without even bothering to remove the blanket from his face.

‘Sleep on the sofa then. Not on bed.’ I hiss again.

Where?‘ he asks, in disbelief, peeping through now.

‘Wherever. Not here!’ 

‘Come on. Its too small. I’m not gonna eat you!’

‘You might! I can’t be sure.’

‘Shit.‘            He marches, stomping his feet as well to the sofa, grabbing his pillow, which grips me by surprise. I was expecting a full head on collision this time.. stay or leave,  live or die kind of situation. There was none.

……………………………………………

I toss around side to side in my bed. ‘Why are you staring at me? I can’t sleep.’ 

‘My eyes. My decision’. He replies, his statement provoking again my temper.

I close my eyes. There was no point arguing. I had to sleep. My alarm was set for 5am, which meant i only had half an hour to get some rest. ‘May be i could make it 6am. That would give me one and half hour for sleep. And by then Will would be asleep too’. I make  a mental plan, set my timer to 6am, then grab my pillow to put it to my foot end.

I was about to sleep when i realise, i had forgotten to pull down the heavy curtains. For now, the morning light was peeping through the light ones directly into my face, hurting my eyes. Too tired to get up, i compromise; pull over the blanket covering my head and squeeze my lids close. However, i can’t still sleep.

‘Oh God!!’.  Will’s gawking face, startles me again. ‘Stop staring like that!‘ i snap, clasping close my blanket to my neck.

‘My face is much better than my feet‘.  He replies.

I turn away from him, to the opposite side, pressing my pillow on my face and covering my ear.

‘Why were you out with him?’. That annoying loud voice again.

‘Carem, i want to know.’

‘Shut up!’. I bounce upright from my bed and throw my pillow at him. ‘You are taking this too far. I just want to sleep.’

‘I can’t believe you can even sleep after what you have done to me.. You are always searching for one wrong thing i would do, so you can have your excuse to do whatever you want. Isn’t it?’ He babbles.

I take a long breath. Then without speaking a word, lie back to sleep, leaving my pillow lying on the floor.

‘I don’t know what you want from me. You tell me, i am indecisive and  i am not taking a stand. And you don’t feel secure..But what about me? You are worse.’

‘I am like this because of you.. Because you are never sure.’

I stay still. Locked lips. Silent. Sometimes, silence is the best answer and silence is the best way out.

‘Carem did i just waste my whole year on you? Was it nothing but for fun?’ 

‘Am i something that you can pull and push away whenever you want?’

I stare at him, not breaking my gaze even for a moment. I wanted to have one close look at this person one last time when he spoke like that. But, in my mind there were number of thoughts running relentlessly,  all of them starting with  same opening ‘How dare he…’

I walk to his side of the sofa carrying a shawl in my hand. My intentions were clear.  ‘To strangle him to death..’, at least that’s  what came across my mind at first. But, stopping in front, ‘Will lay out  your hands‘ i ask politely.

He looks at me confused. But does so, without questioning. I tie them together, pulling the cloth across his wrists, over and through the loop  to secure a tight knot.  If he was going to stop me tomorrow i was making sure he didn’t. I had to.

‘What for?‘ he asks.

To let you know, i loved you all i could. From all possible ways i knew how to. But i can’t go on. Tying you down, i will cut myself loose’.

Will looks at his knot. ‘You should have done it earlier while you could. Might have saved us all those dramas.’

‘I should have. I did a lot of mistakes’.

He doesn’t listen to me though. He keeps himself busy with the knot, forcing apart his hands, trying to untie it. ‘Shit’ he frowns, seeing the knot become smaller and tighter, with his attempts.

‘Don’t pull your hands out too much, it will hurt you’.

‘As if it already doesn’t! But again its very less compared to shit you make me go through’. He rasps.

I stay quiet again. It hurts me more, when he gets hurt. He doesn’t get it.

Will’ you might find someone much better, prettier and everything that i am not. I may never be. But you will never find some one who loves you more than i do’.

‘I will!’ he snickers at me with a mean smile. ‘Everyone loves me more than you do. Even a stranger  if i spend a few hours with him. But You, You can’t love anything or anyone. I feel sorry for you!’

‘May be.. But you will know what i mean someday.. When you fall in love, When you miss me, so much that it begins to hurt.. But, i won’t be here that moment..’ 

‘Believe me. I won’t miss you as much as you think.’ He pulls a smug face again.

 

 

”I tear down. I cry. As much as i would like to believe that he would miss me someday, he might never.. He hurts me. Every time i try to get close to him. He hurts me. Every time  I try to understand him. He hurts me.”

”I have to get away, away from him and save my self.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Will You Into My Will (Chapter 59)

pinteresttt
Pinterest

I tread along behind Matt to the table from where 8 pairs of eyes were peering eagerly at me. From the way they looked, i could tell that they were anticipating me to fall anytime soon. Fretful, i might indeed, and make a big joke out of myself, I slow my pace down; focusing my energy, channelling all i could into that 1 millimetre square of small surface area my heels were depending upon for supporting my delicate, baby hippo body.

As i walked, I prayed that i wasn’t doing those typical ‘i am so drunk’ waddling walks alcoholics do, with their feet stepping wide base apart, trying not to sway too much on either sides. ‘Please God i don’t want to look like i have boils on my butt cheeks’ i begged. 

The distance between the bar counter and Matt’s table wasn’t that big, just 15 steps at maximum to be exact,  but it was costing me an effort of a life time. A girl suffering from social anxiety disorder; place her in a ramp and ask her to walk on it with 5 hunks as audience.. Yeah, that’s how i felt. But at least this wasn’t the worst case scenario for tonight. The worst case would have been, me showing up here with 5 inches heels, which was the initial plan. 

Yup, that pointy uncomfortable block of plastic, Mia had given me for my 17th birthday! What were her intentions with those? Of course she sugar coated it with sweet words,Hey shortie, you can now match Brandy wearing these..But  i doubt. She could have been skimming a lot of things with it.. like, wanting me to stumble down and break my leg, so that she could have some alone time with Brandon. Or may be hoping that i have a fall on it and fracture my cervical spine, so that i end up being paraplegic!  Like  reaalllllllly what were her intentions?? 

Between that time i took to cover my fifteen steps, i thought over and over about a lot of things..

I don’t quite know why i was getting so angry at Mia for. Had i not been smart enough, to sneak back into the cottage  and change my shoes, thus minimising the possible hazard with extra 2 inches? Had i not been swift enough to run out, before Will had caught up to me?? Oh, i miss that look he had, i only wish i could see that often..that look of dismay on his face.. It brightens my heart. 

‘What???  I still don’t get it, how i could be thinking about all these stuffs when i am so stressed here hanging both for my dear life and my dignity. This is insane.’

‘Let me help you’. Luckily Matt extends his hand before taking his seat, to help cover my last 2-3 steps, saving me from possible humiliation and another flood of paranoid thinking.

‘Aw…’ One of his friends lets out a teasing cry.

‘Come on Guys, Carems a guest. Behave.’ Matt hushes him chortling, his face gleeful like i had first seen him today. ‘Oh, don’t mind me’ i smile, trying to look less awkward, settling next to him and a similar look alike of his.

 

I am feeling like Jack, lost on the world of giants after he climbed up that bean stalk now.  Maybe more like princess Thumbelina, feeling so tiny;  sitting on Matt’s table surrounded by his humongous group of friends.

Matt was the smallest one and trust me when i say ‘smallest’ its only when comparing to others. Because for me, Matt too was ‘big’, not ‘huge’ but ‘big’. As in, if kept in room full of ordinary people Matt would stand out with his athletic build. Or if we talked in animal language, to be clear, Matt would have been a wolf in a room full of dogs. Now, think all others in his circle were bigger.

The ‘Wolf.’   It actually suits Matt, if i am to give him a nickname now.  His dark hair, dark eyes, mouth watering beautiful biceps, sharply bordered neck lines, prominent shoulder blades…. Well, everything about those features talks ‘Wolf’. Doesn’t it? ‘Woof. Woof’ Oh why am i barking? A Wolf doesn’t bark, not the grown up at least.. Wait a minute! Everyone of them here looks like one. Could i have bumped into some mystical non human creatures or half human creatures by luck? How cool is it that i am sipping a pint of ale with them then?

A pint of another drink, to my already booze drunk  body continues to do its wonders. I have never heard people talk about hallucination when they are drunk, but i am pretty sure i was starting to. Even when they laughed, i was beginning to hear them howling.

Its fun to be in company of men, who are all in one.  Humorous, smart and nice. And although, in a group ‘Matt and others’ looked and behaved very similar; tough adrenaline junkie boys  with wanderlust, it was becoming very interesting for me to discover each of their individual traits. Each, had their own distinctly different personality, worlds apart between them.  Like Jason, a very much look alike of Matt, and who also happens to be his first cousin, was an old soul. Mozart’ type of guy. Quiet, pleasant and keeping things to himself. Aaroon on right to him, was more of into punk, with metallic spikes on his right ear, 6 of them in a row and and  one pierced on his chin, just below his lower lip. He was more out spoken than the rest, which  explains him teasing Matt.

Sitting  in front of me was Ros. Still heavier and more built than the rest. He struck me as more authoritative figure with his stance and style of talking. And it didn’t take me long to find out why. He was from a military background family. Nonetheless, he was  equally pleasant and he had this ‘brotherly figure’ for everyone.  A group of this dynamic, must surely have  a strong reef to anchor with him on board.

Still next to Ros was Sean. I was told that, Sean was the comedian in the group. But i couldn’t figure out anything about him on my own. We didn’t talk much except hi, hello and the introduction part, since he dozed to sleep right away after. Happens, he had boozed off more than enough  for the night. First with some new friends in other club and second with us.  ‘‘Wow, some people know how to party unlike someone, who shows up looking  like a stripper, as if a pole wrapped in thousand watts of colourful bulbs and sits here doing nothing but stare like  grandma with dementia!!”. That was what my response was to myself when i heard about him, filled with envy.

At last, of course there is Matt. ”A pleasant mix of everything of those traits, i suppose..”

‘Carem” Aaroon interrupts  me, in the middle of my jargon thinking. ‘How come your guy is not with you?’ he asks.

‘Oh…ummm’ i stammer. What was i suppose to say, why i was drinking alone with bunch of guys i just met, past 3 in the morning??

Noticing me struggle to answer, Matt pitches in for rescue. ‘Lets talk about something else..’

Ah, that’s okay.. Will was working tonight. And i wanted to enjoy my last night here. Check out the pub i mean’ I reply. My answer half truth, half lie.

‘Hmmm, you like the ale, don’t you? Its home made.’

‘Yup’ i smile.

Half hour down, I’m heading home in the cab with Matt. Rest of the group are behind us. At the end, the night had been ‘fruitful’ if not ‘very fun’. I had gotten myself drunk but managed to remain sober some how and earned a delightful companionship of good looking men. What more is there to ask?

Matt is sitting back relaxed with his head laid back on the seat. He looks extremely gorgeous right now.  His neck is extended with a prominent protruding notch on the middle of it, featuring  his beautiful muscle lines, extending from the jaw to his shoulders.  On his sleeveless black Tee with wide cut on arms, it doesn’t take me much effort to trace down from there to his arm, to his hand then to his fingers.    His sun kissed skin is beautiful too and so is,  his hair, border of his nose and his plump lips.  Quietly,  i steal a glimpse of those, reading them individually, now and then, again and again; my eyes hooked strangely on him.

I sigh. A deep sigh, hearing which he immediately springs back to check from his light sleep.

‘Are you okay?’ he asks.

Yup’ I lie. No one is okay, being in a closed space, sitting next to guy like Matt, especially with troubles harassing their  minds. But who would tell him? Not me.

I look away, realising, I am getting attracted to this man by every passing minute. And this wasn’t just my alcohol talking. He really was an attractive guy.

The taxi stops. And as soon as it does, i struggle to get out. I didn’t want another headache, i had enough to go on with in my life right now.

‘Hey’ Matt follows me, worried i might stumble with my heels on, on a pebbled road. I probably was doing my drunk duck walk, judging by the way he was hurrying after me.

I stop for him to catch up with me. Then, taking out my shoes and carrying them on my hands, i thank Matt for his pleasurable company giving him a tight goodbye hug. ‘You guys are amazing! Wish we had more fun time together’ i add.

Matt smiles. And before he could reply, Will’s voice interrupts us. ‘Finally. There you are’. he says.

Immediately withdrawing from Matt’s comforting arms, i turn my head to look at him, reflexively, as though someone had just given me a light electric shock. Will stands at  the door, his eyes staring fixedly at me, holding it half open with one hand and carrying a cellphone on the other. My phone vibrates on the  bag responding to his call. Three times, before he stops it approaching us, his stance upright and his muscles tensed.

My mind is alert now with fear or with guilt i don’t know. He paces steadily, his aura marching before him like a thick mist of shadows, engulfing the weak beam of sun rays surrounding us that had narrowly escaped the night. And even with my mind fully awake, aware of the present, i couldn’t tell  apart whether i was hallucinating this or it was for real, these black silhouette forming around him. He looked peculiar, the black part of his eyes covering more than third of his margins, glazing with anger  and with bitterness, as if the eclipse has been set and the door to the third eye has been swung open. I stare at him without blinking for minutes, the moistness of my eye rubbed dry by the chilling wind. My deepest fear had come to life..

Will wore a black inner vest  and a black trouser. With him, he carried a strange energy, a commotion of  a disquieting sensation.. Walking to us, stopping by,  it felt to me like he was invading our space, displacing our existence from here into loops of his unceasing dark aura. The only thing missing on him now, were a set of pitch black feathered wings and a black metal halo floating over his head.. 

 

A Personal Note :)

 

 

Thank you very much for reading ‘Will You Into My Will’. I cannot be more grateful enough for your support with likes, comments and follows. Some of you even left me with 10/ 12 likes on a day.. Did you honestly read all those pages? 😉 I only hope i can keep up to your expectations.

Please continue to love ‘WYIMW’.  Like, follow, comment, share whichever you want, everything is appreciated.  ((AM ALWAYS STARVING FOR ATTENTION!! PEOPLE BEWARE!! AM ANNOYING THAT WAY!! BUT M TOLD, am a cutie pie! 😉  )) I will keep pursuing it with my best effort as well. Its almost on the third quarter at the moment.  I can’t believe i have put forward 58 pages already! I had been so unsure to put even 1 chapter at first. But, your ‘likes’ kept me going..

I’ m a loyal follower too. Please keep posting your great works. When i visit your blog i will definitely leave a ‘like’.(Comment too once in a while, cause am not very good with those. And that’s only because you guys are so awesome that you leave me blank for words when i read your works!).

 

FLowers are beautiful..So are feelings. Aren’t they?? I am leaving you today with handful of beautiful flowers i found on the internet. Of course they are not mine.. They belong to their respective photographers. But you get my gesture, don’t you? 🙂 Enough with roses for this post.. please your eyes with lotus, orchids an….

Happy Blogging. XOXO.