Will You Into My Will ( Chapter 61)

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‘Wait. Don’t go.’ Will pulls the edge of my robe , gripping it in between his fingers, between the narrow space his sealed hands allowed.  Turning around quickly I pull my robe free from him.

‘Enough is enough I said!’ I screech, moving a step back from him, stretching my palms forward, warning him to stay put where he sat. ‘Don’t’.

He looks at me hesitantly as though he is unable to react at my sudden burst of mania. Then taking a while to process his thoughts over, he withdraws his hand slowly. ‘I am sorry‘ he apologises, rubbing his fingers over his eyes, over the bridge then, locking them to knuckles in front of his lips.

‘I love you. I don’t want to hurt you.’

‘Think again’. I grumble, sitting on my bed, across him. ‘Your actions says otherwise’.

He looks at me and lets out a long sigh. Then, throwing his arms over his head and leaning back on the sofa, he asks ‘What do i do to make you believe me?’

‘Nothing. Nothing, you can do’.

He sighs again. ‘What do you want from me? Tell me please’. His voice gets softer with a  desperate tone.

‘Really?’ I throw him an amused pretentious look.

He nods his head, appearing more hopeful, leaning forward closer to hear me out.

‘Nothing.’ I hit him hard with disappointment like a hammer on head. ‘He deserves this!’ I chuckle on my own.

 

Will doesn’t speak a word after that.

He looks at me vacantly; a mixture of  anger, sadness and confusion  gleams on his eyes; his stare transfixes at me, into me and beneath the layer of my cornea, through the gap in my pupils, against the frail membrane of my lens and deeper beneath..

‘Look away’ i snarl , feeling exposed, vulnerable..

He does. A moist film of tear running down the corner of his lids.

He is manipulating you! Don’t fall for it!’ My subconscious roars. ‘If you do, might as well admit to yourself, you are his whore!’.

‘I won’t. Not again!’ I brush away my sympathy. And picking my pillow from the ground, i put it back to my head end of bed, preparing to to sleep.

Will’s head is still faced away from me. He too has lied down on sofa now, with his feet overhanging down the edges and arms folded uncomfortably, crouched  against the corner, trying to fit in his long body on limited space. I can hear him make noises, like breathing roughly against a blocked nose, like sobbing quietly.

I crawl down in my bed, looking at him, cornered  by the unwanted emotions i refuse to feel. First there is fear; the dread of being raw, naked down to my soul; my secrets were no longer mine. The power to control; my thoughts, my wants were no longer mine. And, the key; to my happiness, to my dreams..everything narrowed down to one, my vision tunnelled, it’ was no longer mine.

Second to creep was ‘pain’; amplified by my fear of getting hurt. An acute ache in middle of my chest that i could not point. So unbearable, as though, my muscles were being twisted and stretched beyond their endurance till they tore..

The third, knocking around my misery came ‘The Anger’, so much, building up inside me, that it suffocated my lungs.

‘Wake up! Wake up!‘ i shrug Will roughly by his shoulder.

‘Leave me alone. Go to sleep.’ 

‘No! Wake up!’ I shrug him again. Shaking him violently than before.

‘Ok Ok. Whats wrong with you?’ He sits up, moving side to side, putting his hands down for support.

I lift them above the ground and stretching it past his head, secure them at the back of his neck, making sure  both his arms were  now raised and restricted to any movements.

‘What are you doing?’ he asks me confused, his voice now hoarser with a nasal twang.

‘Securing it. So that you don’t move’.  I reply,  checking the knot again, pulling his head towards me.

‘Why?’ 

‘Sex. I want Sex’. I reply bluntly, looking at him, my hands pushing up his Tee past his neck.

‘I am not in mood,’ he exclaims, creasing his brows in disbelief, angry at me.

‘You don’t need to be. It has a brain of its own. Beside, You Got No Choice!’ I snap back equally infuriated, stressing him loud enough  on ‘You Got No Choice’ part.

He stares at me, taken back, without blinking his eyes for seconds.  I pull down his trousers, down his bums anyways.

Don’t!’ he snarls, sitting down on it, bloated, grumpily.  ‘I didn’t stop you from doing anything. You shouldn’t too’ I mumble, reminding him of his deed, a day back, to which he still owed me. Upset, i would still pull that guilty card, he looks at me regretfully with a repentant conscience.

Then, he lets me drag his trousers all the way  down  his feet and off it, in no time. Still groaning and complaining, he watches me  toss it far too, to the bin beside the door, like a crumpled piece of a paper. ‘Ooooh Yes. I loved it!’

‘It will be more fun, if you set me free from this’. He bends  his head,  to slide forward his hands, showing me what he meant.

Stop, I want your hands back!‘ I snap again, suddenly, frustrated; at his lack of compliance with simple rules. ‘Did you hear me complain then?’ i ask him, utterly annoyed.

It gets easier the next few minutes. Me handling him, playing with him and slipping him off inside me. He doesn’t say a word at all. Not a sound, just the way i wanted it.  I close my eyes then, allowing myself to float in blissful pleasure i was learning to indulge..thinking in my head that ‘It could have been anyone, anyone else in my arms, not necessarily him.’

My knees spread wider apart, relaxing my pelvic floor to accommodate the pressure i was raising, swelling inside me. My back arches forward and backward like swinging on a vine, on its own, controlling the motion of my thrust.. And my hip moves up and down, feeling  every inch of his muscle grate the folds of my tunnel, pleasurably.

I moan softly, resting my head against his shoulders, locking him inside my own arms, pushing and pulling my passage till his tip. The juices on my body pent up and release with every friction i pass on them. Running my fingers across his hair then, i pull his head close to my chest, burying his face on my skin, watching him wet it with his saliva; enjoying each stroke, driving my own route to my lustful pleasure.

‘Fuck me harder baby’ Will whispers on my ear, nibbling on it, sensing my urge getting stronger.

Don’t talk’ i breath out, looking at him, pressing my hip harder against him and  my forehead pressed against his.

‘Use me. Want me. Love me.’ he moans. ‘I want to see you come’..

‘Shhh..’ I hush.    ‘Can’t.’

‘Why? But.. i want you to.’

‘Don’t ask’. I cover his mouth with my wrist, stopping him mid sentence, driving back to momentum.

However, i halt again. ‘Ah. Don’t bite!What now? ‘ I sneer at him.

‘Don’t pace fast. I don’t want to’. He whines leaning his head on my chest. ‘At least kiss me once…’

‘Well you can’t decide. Can you? I have it my way today.’ I push him back on the sofa and bending forward to wrap him again around his neck, resting my head against his shoulders, moving back and forth. ‘Why should i kiss you?‘ i mumble as i do so.

‘I’m not just the thing down you know. I am a human’. He replies with a sigh.

‘Me too. I guess you didn’t know that before huh..’

Well as long as i’m the only one getting in.. I don’t mind i suppose.’  He pecks a soft kiss on my cheek, snuggling past my hair, at which i raise my head and stare at him with surprise.

‘Don’t be too sure. I have a need.‘ I lash at him.

‘Nothing gets in down there except my fingers, your fingers and my stick’.

‘Well, its my body! Stop acting like you control me!’ I glare at him

He doesn’t speak a thing again. And i stop chattering too. We get straight to business, getting it done; me fucking him the way i want.

Once we were over it, I clean myself and toss him a roll of tissues to clean his. ‘Thanks’ I leave him a kiss on a forehead for being a good fuck-buddy.

‘Wait!! Maybe I am being too kind to him..

‘You aren’t even that good by the way. Waste of my time!’ I hurl at him, my vicious comment. Whoever said, word can’t kill..  Trust me, it does much worse. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Will You Into My Will (Chapter 56)

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CAUTION. Only 18+ please. The following post contains explicit scene.

 

I wore a white gown.

Beautiful spotless white with many flowing layers of fabric on it. A part of it was covered in ruffles, dragging on to the floor as i walked in through the hall of the chapel anxiously, nervous, holding my dress careful not to step over and fall down on it. A soft pleasant piano music welcomed my arrival on the door and i gasped, looking at the crowd, that was eagerly waiting for me.  

I walked through the passage very tensed, excited, edgy’ i suppose, looking on my sides for some solace, gazing at individual faces that had come to celebrate my special moment. They smiled. And i returned their gesture with a beam of my own infinite happiness, almost tearing up, with all the  over flowing emotions that i was feeling.

 The pathway was adorned with big’ white, purple large ribbons, giant bouquets of roses and wild flowers on either sides. At the end of it was ‘Will’, the man i was going to take my vows with. ‘Till death do us apart’. If i could, i would have put  ‘Forever, never shall we part’. I wasn’t happy at all with the priests, giving no guarantee for all lives.

However, seeing Will, dressed up on a black suit with a red box on his hand as nervous as i was, i was relieved. I wanted to make a quick dash for him, running along the corridor, throwing my bouquet and my heels away as fast as i could, before he changed his mind. But, knowing, he was my destination, at the finish point of this narrow tortuous  lane, no matter what time it took me,  i had stayed calm. I had carried my bouquet, an assortment of dark red velvety  roses with a bunch of creamy white roses, as gracefully as i could. I was going to be the happiest bride in the world, and ‘He’ had to see that…

‘Look at me!’ Will’s harsh voice wakes me up into reality. All those fantasies, i had dreamt never had any prince on it.  

I stare at him. ‘How could i have come to this? How could i have not foreseen this? ‘ 

He pulls his boxers down. I don’t say anything. I don’t resist any more, i don’t try to run. I’m tired. And I’m tired of myself and everything.

He is hard. Engorged dilated veins.  Stagnant blood flushing on it..

I know, he is just going to fuck me and while doing that, make it as painful as it can be.

He moves in, wets his hard with his saliva and massaging his tip shoves it inside me, pushing his whole body against me. I flinch. He doesn’t care. He watches me as my eyes flood and overflow out of it’s corners.

They say you can judge how much a man really loves you on two places.  Either on your honeymoon bed or  on your deathbed.  I just discovered, mine, just wants sex.. 

 

Next thing i know, he is pacing his speed, increasing his pressure on me, making my insides sting more with pain till it starts to feel numb.

I steer my eyes away again, unable to make an eye contact with him, fixing my eyes at the half open door. ‘There is no pleasure without pain Cam. If you love me, you got to handle both’.  I recall his words. But what part of pleasure am i still seeking here, i don’t know. There is nothing here for me to gain,  but pain, pain and more pain..

The bed creeks to and fro. I can hear his moan getting louder and longer. But ironically what grabs my attention is the clock. Precise sharp metallic sound of the table clock standing  beside me, mocking me, laughing at me hysterically on my pitiful  state. Least  remorseful like Will was.  But, between two of them, i hated it  thousands folds less. So, it’s arrogance wasn’t something that bothered now, not at all.

While i observe it keenly, it moves it’s hand very slowly. The  seconds on it, taking forever to become minutes..

‘Look at me!!’ His hoarse voice breaks my attention. I ignore it.  ‘Look at me!’he shouts againforcing me to shift my gaze.

I’m angry.

So much angry that i want to hit him, kick him and  throw him out of the bed.  ‘Get it over with quickly then!!‘ I clench my teeth and sneer at him.

He doesn’t reply.

He doesn’t even bother to scowl at me anymore. Null, devoid of expression he proceeds, flexing over, putting his arms tightly around me and bringing his face closer to me, an inch away.. his lips almost touching mine and  his breath fuming hot on my face.

We stare at each other, without words. His eyes, i can see them smouldering with rage, unsatisfied, peering studiously, anchored at me.

Heavily, they change their expression now to confused, fearful, sad and tired..really tired.

His body stiffens. His legs throws a jerk. His muscles on hip start to twitch and a gush of liquid squirts with pressure inside me, filling my tunnels.

He slumps, trying to kiss me. I make sure he doesn’t. Ignoring it, he rests his head on my shoulders. His body flaccid over me, his wood soft now  still stuffing my insides.

I push him away. This time he lets me, unplugging my tunnel, dripping the  contents all over the sheet. Lazily, he then moves to the opposite side of the bed, cleans his area with his boxer, throws it away on the floor, grabs the blanket and drifts to sleep still naked. Within minutes i hear him snore.

Me?? I’m still awake. Paralysed. Wondering.. about so many things…I can’t catch my thoughts…. I can’t  explain what i’m going through.  I feel lost…. I feel helpless…

 

Will You Into My Will (Chapter 52)

CAUTION. Only 18+ please. The following post contains explicit scene.

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Our blankets fall on the floor, followed by remaining of our clothes. We crawl, turn and twist then, like two snakes, out on a cold winter day gliding over each other trying to preserve our thermal heat. Our kisses deepen and our hands start pursuits of their own to the forbidden spaces.

I stop now and then again, my lips departing from his only for moments, to cherish what that is truly mine. His skin reflects radiantly beside me, under the light shade of the lamp, like underneath his flesh are the thin sheets of glasses that trans illuminates the faintest of luminescence. And his hair is damp. It’s moisture locked  in, highlighting the intensity of colour inside  each individual strands, as though, they  were a mesh of soft fibres, woven out of slates of blackest charcoal. His eyes match to this, his hair, the depth of the color almost abstract to my precision.. drawing me in, luring me into his mysterious aura, engulfing me inside his concealed world.

He advances. His lips leaving behind a print of kisses as he goes, making me paralysed, receptive to his will. I shudder and flex my legs intuitively, pulling the sheets under my feet as he reaches my thighs and stops to kiss its insides.  Anxiety begins to strangle me in. ‘Do it..’ i whisper, high on oxytocin; the love-cuddle hormone flushing rampantly on their peak action, jostling in my channels.

He puts on the sheath and running his erection up and down the cleavage between my legs inserts it into my opening.

‘Damn that hurts’ I cry, wincing with pain.

And it did. It felt  like being stabbed with a blunt knife.. The pressure tearing up a part of my flesh, making way for an opening that i physically never felt before.

He tries it again. Still only half way through. My eyes starts watering. ‘Mia did say pain was to be expected, when she had her first with James….’ i try to recall. But she hadn’t mentioned  the extent. And whoever wrote that, it was painless and they didn’t feel a thing on the internet, now i knew were big bluffs. Either they were really drunk to remember,or were under drugs or had no pain receptors down there.

‘Are you alright?’ Will asks after a while, looking intently at me, noticing my wet eyes.

‘Alright’. I try to smile. And i was. Of course i wasn’t expecting it to be like  ‘Woooow’.. Because, every one knows the first  time sucks the most, yet you also remember the most. So it was important for me with who i was doing it. And it was Will. Could anyone  blame me for being so tolerant?  

‘Your tight’ he remarks, making a gentle hip movement again.

‘Are you..er…virgin Cam?’ he  asks confused,a little while later, unsure if it was the right thing to question me at all.

‘Dah..‘ i roll my eyes at him. Why was he asking me this?

‘Am sorry’ he apologises. ‘I just thought…’

‘You thought i am sleeping around!’. ‘Was it even the right time to have this conversation? Typical Men.’ My mood starts going down hill from there.

‘No. I’m sorry’ he apologises again. ‘You were dating..and i didn’t think you’d keep your promise..’

‘You are half way through my vagina’. I remind him, moving my hands to my face and to my hair. ‘I can’t believe this’. I sigh.  ‘Its painful do you know?’

He smiles and lands me a sweet kiss out of nowhere,hearing it. Then thrusting in me he replies,   ‘I know but that is just for first and second time i suppose. At least thats what i heard. After that, you will be asking for it’. He jokes.

‘I hope so. Cause your not helping at all’.

He chuckles. ‘I am being  as gentle as possible. Its hard to be patient with you’.

‘Yeah’ i make a face at him.

He puts me in a tight wrap then, curling over me. ‘Because i want you, and because you want me, you have to handle this’ he murmurs on my ear, pushing hard, deeper in my pelvis.

‘Because we will do it the next time, the next and the next’ he continues, arousing me back to the peak. His words, his voice so seductive , i was dissolving, feeling fluid, shapeless like water. 

In no time, my tunnel feels his full length blocking my exit and my pubic bone hits his, pressed underneath.

He motions then, stretching on his elbows on to and fro motion. His lips half open, breathing out and in, his eyes locked into mine..

Every movement is painful, every movement becomes pleasurable.

I curve and stretch under him. In no time, i learn his beat. And we are lost, finding each other, seeking a solace in our bodies.

‘I want to come’ he speaks, almost slowing down now, heavy in my arms.

I nod.

‘Won’t you ask me where?’ he says, holding my face into his hands.

‘Where?‘ i ask.

‘Inside you, without a sheath’.

I raise my brows.

‘Not this time of course’ he assures. Then curving his arms around my back, his fingers hinged against my shoulder blades, he rams in me again and again.

I bite. He moans. I bite harder. His legs extend, his muscles stiffens and then he limps.

We lie there exhausted, breathing hard. Our sweaty bodies against each other. His abdomen still pressed on mine, displacing my belly under his, as he takes in another gulp of air.

Love is beautiful. Love is painful, pleasurable, giving, demanding, carefree, obsessive, lonely, caring… Above all, love is thrilling; a bliss in the abyss of emptiness.