I cannot bear Brandon ignoring me on the school. Passing on the hallways without meeting my eyes, skipping on lunches just to avoid me and now, even on our favourite sub when we always pair up together he is sitting 10 desks away from me.
I am on the first bench.
It is impossible for me to get his glimpse, without Mr Smith noticing me turn around my head 180 degree back and him croaking ‘Carem!!!’ on his peculiar high pitch voice. Freddy Kreuger was a lesser threat. Bulging eyes on thin contoured cheeks, long crooked fingers, add to that his nasty temper; it was everyones nightmare come to life.
We are reading ‘ Theory of Evolution by Natural selection’ today. ‘Charles Darwin’ is peeping on me from my book. Beside him are some picture of strange looking birds. ‘Finches’ Mr Smith says. ‘Observing these birds, their beak sizes and food habit, Darwin was later able to postulate natural selection theory. ‘
‘How bored and lonesome must he be to have noticed the size of a beak on birds like that? And devising his own theory?? The number of hours he must have spent looking at them?’
Thats what i am thinking. Aunt Marish says, i have unusual way of perceiving information. That my thought process is fascinating. I just wonder, if she too thinks i am a deviant. May be that is what she means, when she says she worries about me. That one day i will go haywire. I wouldn’t be surprised myself.
‘Pay attention Maxton!’. Mr Smith croaks again on the background. I ignore him.
‘This funny looking old man, a gardener, with strange fetish for birds and plants. Weirdo became a genius. Great! End of story! When does this get over.’ I yawn looking at the clock.
‘He stated that it is not the strongest species or the most intelligent species that survives but the one that adapts most’. Mr Smith continues.
‘Adaptation means change in behaviour/ physiology and structure of organism to become more suited to environment’.
‘Example Brandon. Changing his behaviour- acting like i don’t exist, physiology- went from needy to don’t need you’ on just 2 days and structure- sinking down the chair so that i don’t see him.’ I frown on my own.
‘These traits that help them to survive will be preserved over long run on their species simply because they will breed more. That is natural selection’.
‘Over many generation the process of selection then will create a entire new genera of species from original ancestors. Like gibbon, apes and chimps to humans. ‘
I have had enough.
As soon the school was done, i was packing my bag to leave for Cornwall. In the world with rule of ‘Survival of the fittest’, where people adapt so well like chameleons i had no place.
I felt alone.
Seeing Aunt Marish after so long brought some joy back to my heart.
Despite our age differences, we were like best friends. We shared everything from pep talks to serious deep conversations.
‘You are alike’. Mom always commented when she saw us together. And for some strange reasons it always made me happy to hear that.
‘Come here Rose’. I call my 1 and half year old cousin to my arms.
She doesn’t. It has been a while since i have seen her. She has completely forgotten me.
‘Aww..’ i sigh.
‘She will remember you. Don’t worry..’ Aunt Marish assures me.
That reminds me how much i have missed her. And talking to her. I could have really used a friend. All this time.
‘Rose’ she calls. Little chubby cherub lifts her head, looks at her direction, casts away the tangled rope she had been trying to figure out and runs. ‘Mama!’ she screams.
I stare in awe, about to break in tears.
Perhaps this is what changed her. After all these years. Perhaps this is where she found happiness. Solace for heart. In Rose.
Its beautiful. The bond between a mother and a child. To see her run to her mom with so much affection, with no second thoughts, no questions asked, just with pure delight, so sure in herself that she was going to be there to hold her…
When did we stop loving anyone like that? What changed? When did I’ stop loving anyone like that?